can you believe its been like 2 months now since i've seen those people.. I can and i think that its kinda sad that i'm the one that is the one that trys to keep in contact with them. because they can't do so for themselves... I'm actully talking about one particullar person when i say this
I thought you said you wanted to be friends still???? so where has that gone? It seems like i'm the one thats trying to make this friendship work. I'm the one thats trying to push for everything. It doesnt seem like your making anykind of effort. Maybe i should have just stuck with my original plan... which was to NOT TALK TO YOU AT ALL... or even try to call and see whats up with you. I mean isn't that what friends do... atleast see whats up with one another? Yeah so we don't hang out anymore....I don't mind. the thing that bothers me.. is YOUR THE ONE THAT WANTED TO STAY FRIENDS AND YOUR NOT MAKING AN EFFORT.
From what i see from you... I think its JUST SAD!
SOME FRIEND YOU TURNED OUT TO BE.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
the wirdest dream ever
my dream started me out at my cotillion night. same senerio.... double tree... kicked out home.... chillin with the hommies there and then... it was the end of a beautiful relationship. with all those i love. MY OHAN.
next think i know the scene changes.
4-5 months later i'm walking down to a hall way which comes to be my church. walking with me is my family and we go in... Mass starts... mass ends. I go and do my daily routine of going to to SELAH and say my hellos say whats up to ALex and Greg. and to my suprise who do i run into. Justine Rachel and Jeff. I was like OMG!!! HEY GUYS!!! hows it going what are ya'll up to? Justine and Rachel tell me that they have to leave.... that was all and then they leave. next thing I know i'm standing outside chatting away with Jeff crackin some jokes... wondering hows hes doing. as that is happening we walk towards the back parking lot where I and my family parked. I asked him what he was doing here and he told me "I remeber you saying long time ago that alex sang at this time and i wanted to come and see... " me:"but that was like last year???" him:"i know...I just wanted to come and see what it was about because last time i rember u invited me to go to mass with you but i didn't come. " me:"oh okay? sooo how are things with you? hows school? and hows.......?" "schools okay you know same ol same ol..." me: "figures...." him:"whats that suppose to mean?" me:"nothing, but...... OH NM" and he totally avoided the other question. we walked into the parking lot which led us to saying goodbye. I said good bye told him it was nice seeing him and I huged Him. as he was hugging me ever so tight he wispers in my ear "I...YOU!" i pull away and say HUH? look at him in the eyes and then... thats when we kissed... my heart was beating soo fast. i reply "I miss you." he lets go looks at me and hugs me. me:"what are you doing later?" him:" I don't know... not really much of anything?" me: "no plans at all? hugh... weird... I guess thats cool. Maybe I should stop by your house so we could talk." "do you need me to pick you up?" "oh no, I forgot to tell you I drive now. i got my licens 3 months ago. I was planing to call you up and tell you when i got it. but i figured that you might have been busy. oh yeah by the way hows work ?" "it good... Yeah you should stop by so" "Oh shoot" " what? " "my dad... hes pulling out. maybe i should go now." jeff ducks be hind a car holding my hand looks at me and say "I don't want you to leave yet. i miss you. call me later stop by?..." "yeah I will... i just gotta go and eat with the family and I'll be there after that YEAH?" he looks at me as he sits on the floor be hind the car and me squating infront of him. I lean in for a hug and he kisses me on the cheek. We say good bye...
and thats when I wake up.....
CRAZY!!!!!!! it got me all teary eyed. IT MAKES ME MISS HIM... but I'm just trying to get over it all....
eh...
whatever.
next think i know the scene changes.
4-5 months later i'm walking down to a hall way which comes to be my church. walking with me is my family and we go in... Mass starts... mass ends. I go and do my daily routine of going to to SELAH and say my hellos say whats up to ALex and Greg. and to my suprise who do i run into. Justine Rachel and Jeff. I was like OMG!!! HEY GUYS!!! hows it going what are ya'll up to? Justine and Rachel tell me that they have to leave.... that was all and then they leave. next thing I know i'm standing outside chatting away with Jeff crackin some jokes... wondering hows hes doing. as that is happening we walk towards the back parking lot where I and my family parked. I asked him what he was doing here and he told me "I remeber you saying long time ago that alex sang at this time and i wanted to come and see... " me:"but that was like last year???" him:"i know...I just wanted to come and see what it was about because last time i rember u invited me to go to mass with you but i didn't come. " me:"oh okay? sooo how are things with you? hows school? and hows.......?" "schools okay you know same ol same ol..." me: "figures...." him:"whats that suppose to mean?" me:"nothing, but...... OH NM" and he totally avoided the other question. we walked into the parking lot which led us to saying goodbye. I said good bye told him it was nice seeing him and I huged Him. as he was hugging me ever so tight he wispers in my ear "I...YOU!" i pull away and say HUH? look at him in the eyes and then... thats when we kissed... my heart was beating soo fast. i reply "I miss you." he lets go looks at me and hugs me. me:"what are you doing later?" him:" I don't know... not really much of anything?" me: "no plans at all? hugh... weird... I guess thats cool. Maybe I should stop by your house so we could talk." "do you need me to pick you up?" "oh no, I forgot to tell you I drive now. i got my licens 3 months ago. I was planing to call you up and tell you when i got it. but i figured that you might have been busy. oh yeah by the way hows work ?" "it good... Yeah you should stop by so" "Oh shoot" " what? " "my dad... hes pulling out. maybe i should go now." jeff ducks be hind a car holding my hand looks at me and say "I don't want you to leave yet. i miss you. call me later stop by?..." "yeah I will... i just gotta go and eat with the family and I'll be there after that YEAH?" he looks at me as he sits on the floor be hind the car and me squating infront of him. I lean in for a hug and he kisses me on the cheek. We say good bye...
and thats when I wake up.....
CRAZY!!!!!!! it got me all teary eyed. IT MAKES ME MISS HIM... but I'm just trying to get over it all....
eh...
whatever.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
it more like......
I miss a whole lot of what happened in the past... but i can't turn back time and go through it again. But if i was ever able too... i would change a whole lot of things.
what has come to be...
there aren't anymore of those phone calls. nothing about,chilling our just hanging out. there aren't anymore of those reandom hellos just to see how someone is doing. there isn't so much of those deep conversations that use to happen, there isn't any more of those just kicking it at someones house just for the hell of it.. and staying at that house till early in the morning just because, and there isn't anymore of those really good hugs and kisses of hello and good byes.... and theses are some of the things that i miss the most
the way i see it now
is that there isn't any more of all that stuff... I feel as tho there isn't anything with the ohan anymore. that feeling of being pushed out of the circle. more people come in and i'm being taking out. I love my ohan there is no dbout about that, i know i will always have you guys you all, will forever be my brothers and sisters... except jeff (none of that sibling ish )"say siblings"... haha. BUT jeff you will always be my first love the "boyfriend", i will never forget you. Like i've said before you have made and everlasting impression on my mind, body, soul and heart and i will never for get that. YOU GUYS... are the greatest people i have ever met We kept it together for 4 years and still kinda going.
the truth is...
i feel like i'm not apart of that circle anymore.
these past months have been life changing
and well i've been making some great decisions. and there maybe well something that i might have to do.... is well leave. and probably not keep contact... i donno if i will actully be doing that. but, i guess there will be a whole lot less of me to be seen. I guess give me a year or something. i donno.... it still an undecided dession that i have to make.
Just know that
no matter what the decision is i make i will always love you guys
MY OHANA... my brothers and sisters and EXbOyFRIEND.
We've been through alot and i donno...
where do i really stand i all this...
my drama is my drama... not any of yours. just some things that i'm going through. don't worrie about me i'll be okay. OH THE POSSIBILITIES
a post that isn't really finished... just some thoughts that i wanted to pass along
what has come to be...
there aren't anymore of those phone calls. nothing about,chilling our just hanging out. there aren't anymore of those reandom hellos just to see how someone is doing. there isn't so much of those deep conversations that use to happen, there isn't any more of those just kicking it at someones house just for the hell of it.. and staying at that house till early in the morning just because, and there isn't anymore of those really good hugs and kisses of hello and good byes.... and theses are some of the things that i miss the most
the way i see it now
is that there isn't any more of all that stuff... I feel as tho there isn't anything with the ohan anymore. that feeling of being pushed out of the circle. more people come in and i'm being taking out. I love my ohan there is no dbout about that, i know i will always have you guys you all, will forever be my brothers and sisters... except jeff (none of that sibling ish )"say siblings"... haha. BUT jeff you will always be my first love the "boyfriend", i will never forget you. Like i've said before you have made and everlasting impression on my mind, body, soul and heart and i will never for get that. YOU GUYS... are the greatest people i have ever met We kept it together for 4 years and still kinda going.
the truth is...
i feel like i'm not apart of that circle anymore.
these past months have been life changing
and well i've been making some great decisions. and there maybe well something that i might have to do.... is well leave. and probably not keep contact... i donno if i will actully be doing that. but, i guess there will be a whole lot less of me to be seen. I guess give me a year or something. i donno.... it still an undecided dession that i have to make.
Just know that
no matter what the decision is i make i will always love you guys
MY OHANA... my brothers and sisters and EXbOyFRIEND.
We've been through alot and i donno...
where do i really stand i all this...
my drama is my drama... not any of yours. just some things that i'm going through. don't worrie about me i'll be okay. OH THE POSSIBILITIES
a post that isn't really finished... just some thoughts that i wanted to pass along
Monday, November 22, 2004
i take back everything
I take back everything that i ha ve recently just said to you...
i take back all the nice things i ever said to you.
all i'm really able to say is sorry for being a bitch. but thats it.
after its all over i'm done. I'm guessing its over over because i can't bare to see you or be near you. It hurts to damn much.
i hope that you have a happy life with out me in it. I think me... for you I'm just a problem, or a person you know that you dont give a fuck a bout because when i do talk to you. you dont seem to interusted. you dont seem like you care when you said " i still care for you"
fuck... HYPOCRITE!!!!
tell me to get my proirities straight.... you tell me what ur stressing about and then you dont handle it. no offence.... but you'd rather go to _-_ _ _ _ _ _ instead of being there for me. Nio dbout i thank you for going... un like some... but... it still hurts the fact theres that.
ESP that its the week of.
My thought is...
IS IT REALLY MANDITORY??? i mean you have hella more practices till battlefest.... my cotillion is this weekend. I let it slide the last couple of times because well... my cotillion wasnt last week or the week before. what i'm saying that i'm tired of letting things slide i'm tired of being too... FUCKING NICE for my own good. I did to much to accomidate to everyones sechedual.... (i know i'm being selfish)... ITS MY TURN... ITS TIME FOR ME... don't complain to me. I asked you to do me this favor... i asked you... it didnt mean that you didnt have to say yes.(reffering to everyone) DON'T complain... and dont tell me.... anything because you agreeded.. and if you couldnt do it... well thats all you had to say. I AM AN UNDERSTANDING PERSON... I LET A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS SLIDE... but its this weekend... this weekend is what im impling... IF YOUR JUST DONT THIS TO PISS ME OFF THEN WELL YOU'VE DONE IT. IF YOUR MAD AT ME.. then thats fine.... LETS JUST GET THIS THING OVER WITH AND WE'LL BE DONE WITH IT. WE DON'T HAVE TO SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.... (still reffering to everyone)
with out adbout... you all are GREAT... hands down i wouldn't change any of you guys... I wouldn't do a lot of things..... but this time... i donno... we'll see...
ERRRRGGHHHH...
i take back all the nice things i ever said to you.
all i'm really able to say is sorry for being a bitch. but thats it.
after its all over i'm done. I'm guessing its over over because i can't bare to see you or be near you. It hurts to damn much.
i hope that you have a happy life with out me in it. I think me... for you I'm just a problem, or a person you know that you dont give a fuck a bout because when i do talk to you. you dont seem to interusted. you dont seem like you care when you said " i still care for you"
fuck... HYPOCRITE!!!!
tell me to get my proirities straight.... you tell me what ur stressing about and then you dont handle it. no offence.... but you'd rather go to _-_ _ _ _ _ _ instead of being there for me. Nio dbout i thank you for going... un like some... but... it still hurts the fact theres that.
ESP that its the week of.
My thought is...
IS IT REALLY MANDITORY??? i mean you have hella more practices till battlefest.... my cotillion is this weekend. I let it slide the last couple of times because well... my cotillion wasnt last week or the week before. what i'm saying that i'm tired of letting things slide i'm tired of being too... FUCKING NICE for my own good. I did to much to accomidate to everyones sechedual.... (i know i'm being selfish)... ITS MY TURN... ITS TIME FOR ME... don't complain to me. I asked you to do me this favor... i asked you... it didnt mean that you didnt have to say yes.(reffering to everyone) DON'T complain... and dont tell me.... anything because you agreeded.. and if you couldnt do it... well thats all you had to say. I AM AN UNDERSTANDING PERSON... I LET A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS SLIDE... but its this weekend... this weekend is what im impling... IF YOUR JUST DONT THIS TO PISS ME OFF THEN WELL YOU'VE DONE IT. IF YOUR MAD AT ME.. then thats fine.... LETS JUST GET THIS THING OVER WITH AND WE'LL BE DONE WITH IT. WE DON'T HAVE TO SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.... (still reffering to everyone)
with out adbout... you all are GREAT... hands down i wouldn't change any of you guys... I wouldn't do a lot of things..... but this time... i donno... we'll see...
ERRRRGGHHHH...
Monday, November 08, 2004
enough with all the bull crap
unable to lift what has been damaged...
i picked up all the pices... but still haven't tried to put them back together. I mean slowly but surely i think it will come together. but I'm not so sure about that. Its hard as it is...
so... humm...
my feelings right now: i feel very stressed out. I've thrown down the safe gaurd and i'm putting on my boxing gloves. ITs time for the bitch in me to come out... and well... it has yet to begin. WATCH YOURSELF. This is going to be a a big on..... and i might have to put myself on blast. megaphone. NO NEED.
anyways... I might be on the verge of a total break down with being so overwhelmed with everything. I wish there was that shoulder that i could cry on. That someone who i can tell everything to and not have to worrie about whats going to happen. I wish i had that again. I feel so helpless.
It doesnt help at the fact that I think he hates me.
DAMN FUCK... SHIT!!!! ERRRRRR....... YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY! I HATE YOU... I HATE THIS.. I HATE...
WHY AM I STILL HERE.... WHY?
WHY DO I STILL CARE?
am i still heart broken?
am I jealious?
i picked up all the pices... but still haven't tried to put them back together. I mean slowly but surely i think it will come together. but I'm not so sure about that. Its hard as it is...
so... humm...
my feelings right now: i feel very stressed out. I've thrown down the safe gaurd and i'm putting on my boxing gloves. ITs time for the bitch in me to come out... and well... it has yet to begin. WATCH YOURSELF. This is going to be a a big on..... and i might have to put myself on blast. megaphone. NO NEED.
anyways... I might be on the verge of a total break down with being so overwhelmed with everything. I wish there was that shoulder that i could cry on. That someone who i can tell everything to and not have to worrie about whats going to happen. I wish i had that again. I feel so helpless.
It doesnt help at the fact that I think he hates me.
DAMN FUCK... SHIT!!!! ERRRRRR....... YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY! I HATE YOU... I HATE THIS.. I HATE...
WHY AM I STILL HERE.... WHY?
WHY DO I STILL CARE?
am i still heart broken?
am I jealious?
is it that....
FUCK YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND OH YEAH YOU!!!!
I HATE YOU!
about 3 or soo weeks left then this madness will be fuckin over and you'll never have to see me ever again.
I just want to break down and cry with you holding me in your arms...
DAMN... those times... damn those memories... DAMN IT!
"6,8,12"Ooh, oohDo you ever think about me?Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?In the middle of the night when you're awake,Are you calling out for me?Do you ever reminisce?I can't believe I'm acting like thisI know it's crazyHow I still can feel your kiss[1] - It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours Since you went away I miss you so much and I don't know what to sayI should be over youI should know better but it's just not the case It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours Since you went away Do you ever ask about me?Do your friends still tell you what to do?Every time the phone rings,Do you wish it was me calling you?Do you still feel the same?Or has time put out the flame?I miss you Is everything okay?[Repeat 1]It's hard enough just passing the timeWhen I can't seem to get you off my mindAnd where is the good in goodbye?Tell me why, tell me why[Repeat 1]Sing it for meOoh, ooh
All i wanted was to work things out but you never gave it a chance.
BLAH...
I MISS YOU!!!!..... and still love you
Friday, November 05, 2004
ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT
You know what.... I'm just not going to fucking care anymore.
Say thank you to fucking everyone else except for me....
Its my bad for being SOOOO FUCKING UNDERSTANDING RIGHT!
Well you know what FUCK YOU!!!
its breaks my heart... no thank you for fucking anything that i do or did for you.
If you were still a true friend, you would have my back, you would ask me whats wrong, you could say thank you, you would/ could/ should have said and done a whole lot of things
but you didn't
SO ARE U STILL MY FRIEND. OR YOU JUST THERE?
why do i still care for you when you dont give a FUCK ABOUT ME?
Say thank you to fucking everyone else except for me....
Its my bad for being SOOOO FUCKING UNDERSTANDING RIGHT!
Well you know what FUCK YOU!!!
its breaks my heart... no thank you for fucking anything that i do or did for you.
If you were still a true friend, you would have my back, you would ask me whats wrong, you could say thank you, you would/ could/ should have said and done a whole lot of things
but you didn't
SO ARE U STILL MY FRIEND. OR YOU JUST THERE?
why do i still care for you when you dont give a FUCK ABOUT ME?
Saturday, October 23, 2004
at random.
living it up.... trying to get past all the difference...and be happy with what i have... what i have lost and what i gained...
in reality i didn't lose anything I GAINED SOMETHING that can be sooo MUCH BETTER!
still in love with BOB... Can't change anything about that.. Like said before he will always be in my HEART =p... looking to the feature for more things
in reality i didn't lose anything I GAINED SOMETHING that can be sooo MUCH BETTER!
still in love with BOB... Can't change anything about that.. Like said before he will always be in my HEART =p... looking to the feature for more things
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
6 degrees of seperation
so like the past weekends i've been going out because you know i want to... and feel like it... and well..
i've been meeting tons of people... and well these people ask me about people if i know such and such and well I do...
talgang crazy...
so like speaking about meeting new people...
I met 3 people whom i found interust in...
oh yeah. thats all.
--------
seperated now... poss for later... peace easy BITCHES
i've been meeting tons of people... and well these people ask me about people if i know such and such and well I do...
talgang crazy...
so like speaking about meeting new people...
I met 3 people whom i found interust in...
oh yeah. thats all.
--------
seperated now... poss for later... peace easy BITCHES
Friday, October 15, 2004
family against the only girl and the youngest
HEY EJ...
FCUK YOU BITCH.... SOME BROTHER YOU ARE I didnt EVEN DO SHIT TO YOU I donnO WHY THE FCUK YOU ARE HELLA MAD AT ME.... SEEMS As THO THIS WHOLE FAMILY IS OUT TO GET ME.. OR ALWAYS PUTS THE BLAME ON ME AND SHIT... DANG WHAT THE FCUK IS THAT!!!???!!!
ITS STUPID BULLSHIT... thats what it is ALWAYS COMING UP WITH A LAME ASS EXCUSE AND SHIT.
HELLA GETS ME HEATED and ITS LIKE WHAT THE FCUK!
DAMN... I'm SOO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T KNOW
peoples these days
it so fcuking hard to get a hold of people now and days!!! its pisses the shit out of me and i just want to like kick some peoples ass just because they pissed me off!!! I donno I hate this FEELING...GRRR...
its like EVERYONE IS SAYINS FCUK ABEGAIL SHE ISNT WORTH A DAMN THING!!!
others before at LEAST YOU HAD DEDICATED PEOPLE...
SAME PEOPLE NOW ARE JUST TIRED!!!
FCUK DONT GIVE SHIT ABOUT ME KAY... DO ME THAT FAVOR AND SAY TO ME FCUK YOU I DONT CARE... DROP OUT OF MY COTILLION.... DO IT.... FCUK...
ALL THiS Shit AND FOR NOTHING!!! FCUK!!!!!
FCUK YOU BITCH.... SOME BROTHER YOU ARE I didnt EVEN DO SHIT TO YOU I donnO WHY THE FCUK YOU ARE HELLA MAD AT ME.... SEEMS As THO THIS WHOLE FAMILY IS OUT TO GET ME.. OR ALWAYS PUTS THE BLAME ON ME AND SHIT... DANG WHAT THE FCUK IS THAT!!!???!!!
ITS STUPID BULLSHIT... thats what it is ALWAYS COMING UP WITH A LAME ASS EXCUSE AND SHIT.
HELLA GETS ME HEATED and ITS LIKE WHAT THE FCUK!
DAMN... I'm SOO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T KNOW
peoples these days
it so fcuking hard to get a hold of people now and days!!! its pisses the shit out of me and i just want to like kick some peoples ass just because they pissed me off!!! I donno I hate this FEELING...GRRR...
its like EVERYONE IS SAYINS FCUK ABEGAIL SHE ISNT WORTH A DAMN THING!!!
others before at LEAST YOU HAD DEDICATED PEOPLE...
SAME PEOPLE NOW ARE JUST TIRED!!!
FCUK DONT GIVE SHIT ABOUT ME KAY... DO ME THAT FAVOR AND SAY TO ME FCUK YOU I DONT CARE... DROP OUT OF MY COTILLION.... DO IT.... FCUK...
ALL THiS Shit AND FOR NOTHING!!! FCUK!!!!!
Sunday, October 10, 2004
its the fact
there are still so may problems with us...
its the fact that you dont say anything back to me...
its the fact that... we cant even talk anymore...
its the fact that things went wrong...
its the fact that things are still iffy
its the fact that you made me the happiest person in the world
its the fact that you would always make me smile
its the fact that you did me that way
its the fact that Your hurt me
its the fact that you cared
its the fact that you dont care
its the fact that you were a major part of my life
its the fact that...
I STILL LOVE YOU
its the fact that you dont say anything back to me...
its the fact that... we cant even talk anymore...
its the fact that things went wrong...
its the fact that things are still iffy
its the fact that you made me the happiest person in the world
its the fact that you would always make me smile
its the fact that you did me that way
its the fact that Your hurt me
its the fact that you cared
its the fact that you dont care
its the fact that you were a major part of my life
its the fact that...
I STILL LOVE YOU
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
i dont like being here
I'm hella stuck on you....
GRRRR
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
My heart does the tango
With every little move you make
I love you like a mango
Wish we could make it every day
I want you to
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
My night would be so lonely…
Lonely If ever you should choose to go
I live just like a zombie
Zombie with very little love to show
I want you to
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
Who love you pretty baby
Whos going to help you thought the night
Who loves you pretty mama
Whos always there to make it right
Who love you
Who loves pretty baby
Whos gonna love you mama… baby drop
My heart does the tango
With e very little move you make
I love you like a mango
Wish we could make it every day
I want you to
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
GRRRR
WHY!!!!!
I'm getting all frustrated with myself because i still love you...
Do something.... Piss me off, i donno do something that'll make me hate you. THAT I dont want to talk to you anymore... then maybe I'll get over you.
I DONNO....
FCUK!!!!!
I DONT LIKE THIS.... I'm GOING CRAZY... and I think i'm MAKING YOU GO CRAZY.... MAN...
DUDE.... I'M HELLA STUCK ON YOU...
stuck on you I got this feel down deep in my soul that i just can't lose
boy i'm on my way...
I needed a friend and the way that I feel right now I guess i'll be with you till the end
boy i'm on my way...
Mighty GLAD YOU STAYED
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
My heart does the tango
With every little move you make
I love you like a mango
Wish we could make it every day
I want you to
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
My night would be so lonely…
Lonely If ever you should choose to go
I live just like a zombie
Zombie with very little love to show
I want you to
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
Who love you pretty baby
Whos going to help you thought the night
Who loves you pretty mama
Whos always there to make it right
Who love you
Who loves pretty baby
Whos gonna love you mama… baby drop
My heart does the tango
With e very little move you make
I love you like a mango
Wish we could make it every day
I want you to
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
Drop baby drop baby drop
Got to drop all your love on me
Drop baby drop baby drop
Drop cuz I’m hungry
GAHH....
Sunday, October 03, 2004
crazy
So last night was... FREAKIN CRAZY!!!
nuff said...
peace easy..
peace difficult....
peace then...
nuff said...
peace easy..
peace difficult....
peace then...
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
umm
so like I don'tk now what there is to say any more...
BUT WE DONT TALK...
the only thing that happens between us is my practice...
here i am trying to make the effort to talk to you and be a good hommie... but your still doing the same... pushing urself away from me. Well Just to let you know hommie... If this goes on. even after everything... I guess imma have to agree with well, the ovbious... " I still wanting you im my life, The friendship"... Well I'm guessins thats going to be NOMORE. so well.. thats it.
only stating the ovbious...
BUT WE DONT TALK...
the only thing that happens between us is my practice...
here i am trying to make the effort to talk to you and be a good hommie... but your still doing the same... pushing urself away from me. Well Just to let you know hommie... If this goes on. even after everything... I guess imma have to agree with well, the ovbious... " I still wanting you im my life, The friendship"... Well I'm guessins thats going to be NOMORE. so well.. thats it.
only stating the ovbious...
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Looking BACK
So... i basically stayed home the whole day... didnt really do much but dom some laundry and well like the thing is... the only thing that I could do was basically go on the internet and well... check out the sites and see wahts was going on... and well I was totally remanicing about things in the past because I go through reading everyones xanga... leaving my daily comments and what not. I decided to take it back. So well thats what I did. I sat down look at my old xanga entrys and well... there were things that i found OH SO FREAKIN TENDER... and i was just thinking about how much i missed those moments, How fun they were... and where were at right now is totally different. I'm not just speaking of just JEFF... but all of my friends. My how the tides have turned and things are very very different. Thinking about all those good Times and how things were. I admit that there were times that I was being hella selfish and wanted everything to be around me and about me. I admit to being stubborn and all this other junk. Hey at least I admited to it. I sure went through alot... and look where it got me. Going back.. well brought some emotions, feelings, and what not back.... I guess this is just somemore stuff that i needed to say because I call it a quits.... before Its over... over officially. Well for me... here are some things that brought it back....
I found it soo ironic how you took this quote from a book and posted it...
"HESITATION ONLY MAGNIFIES FEAR AND MAKES IT WORSE!!"
Knowing you... well towards me... You were always hesitant.... and well... the quote only speaks for its self.... it magnifies your fears and It only made the situation between us... WORSE!
JackHoLe 1580: BE DECISIVE & TAKE ACTION PROMPTLY. ACTION CURES FEAR! HESITATION ONLY ENLARGES FEAR!
its really funny how things work out... Pretty much thinking about it all.. and HOW YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME. and how you cared for me... how we would talk about the weirdest things online.
eyeDENTITyabba: so i gues good morningJackHoLe 1580: okay then.eyeDENTITyabba: sleep sweeteyeDENTITyabba: good dreams JackHoLe 1580:you too ;-)
Auto response from JackHoLe 1580: SLEEPING....Zzzz..ZZzz...zZZz..zz
dreaming about my bebs.hey JEFF, guess what this means--I.C.F.Y.A.L. <-- there is an actual meaning to it. HAHAHA:-D
I want you so much,right now.:-*
JackHoLe 1580: I want you so much,right now.:-*<--- ??eyeDENTITyabba: hahahahaeyeDENTITyabba: .......:-XJackHoLe 1580: I.C.F.Y.A.L so what's this mean?eyeDENTITyabba: u have to guessJackHoLe 1580: awwwwwJackHoLe 1580: thats too many letterseyeDENTITyabba: IeyeDENTITyabba: careeyeDENTITyabba: now finish iteyeDENTITyabba: thats the first two.eyeDENTITyabba: F . Y. A . LJackHoLe 1580: For You A Lot ???eyeDENTITyabba: hahaeyeDENTITyabba: there u goJackHoLe 1580: YESS!!! right onJackHoLe 1580: :-DeyeDENTITyabba: hahahahaeyeDENTITyabba: seeeeyeDENTITyabba: now that wasnt so hard was iteyeDENTITyabba: hahahaJackHoLe 1580: okay...now i can sleep peacefullyJackHoLe 1580: hahaeyeDENTITyabba: EASY 4 u to sayeyeDENTITyabba: hahahaeyeDENTITyabba: well goodmorningeyeDENTITyabba: GO NOWJackHoLe 1580: okay
Auto response from JackHoLe 1580: SLEEPING....Zzzz..ZZzz...zZZz..zz
dreaming about my bebs.hey JEFF, guess what this means--I.C.F.Y.A.L. <-- there is an actual meaning to it. HAHAHA:-D
I want you so much,right now.:-*
JackHoLe 1580: byeJackHoLe 1580: take careJackHoLe 1580: get some sleep!
humm.... there was a point when i felt love from you.... then again there was apoint when you crushed my hopes... and brought me down... pissed me off because you never said anything... It always brought me to the point where you would make me cry... in the end you would make me laugh.... and i wouldnt be mad at you anymore...
Well yeah whatever... that was all in the past... I will never forget all ths goodtimes that we had together... the laughs that we had... the tears that were falling... the moments when it was THE BEST MOMENT!
From that first moment that you had walked into my life...
"YOU MADE AN EVERLASTING IMPRESSION ON MY MIND,BODY,SOULD AND HEART"...
from the first kiss, the first time we got caught going out, the first hater mark, TO BEING MY FIRST LOVE... JEFFREY SAM ORDILLIO. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU... and You didn't love me back. BUT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME MENTALLY... you will ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART... I THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD... AND EVEN THE BAD. They were all learning experiences. Still learning... and trying to get over it all. I just wanted to say.. that I love you. Hope that all is well...
I wonder what you did with that picture... Reflection of some of those happy moments.... yet again.. faded memories to you.
PEACE EASY...
supposibly your still there...
I found it soo ironic how you took this quote from a book and posted it...
"HESITATION ONLY MAGNIFIES FEAR AND MAKES IT WORSE!!"
Knowing you... well towards me... You were always hesitant.... and well... the quote only speaks for its self.... it magnifies your fears and It only made the situation between us... WORSE!
JackHoLe 1580: BE DECISIVE & TAKE ACTION PROMPTLY. ACTION CURES FEAR! HESITATION ONLY ENLARGES FEAR!
its really funny how things work out... Pretty much thinking about it all.. and HOW YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME. and how you cared for me... how we would talk about the weirdest things online.
eyeDENTITyabba: so i gues good morningJackHoLe 1580: okay then.eyeDENTITyabba: sleep sweeteyeDENTITyabba: good dreams JackHoLe 1580:you too ;-)
Auto response from JackHoLe 1580: SLEEPING....Zzzz..ZZzz...zZZz..zz
dreaming about my bebs.hey JEFF, guess what this means--I.C.F.Y.A.L. <-- there is an actual meaning to it. HAHAHA:-D
I want you so much,right now.:-*
JackHoLe 1580: I want you so much,right now.:-*<--- ??eyeDENTITyabba: hahahahaeyeDENTITyabba: .......:-XJackHoLe 1580: I.C.F.Y.A.L so what's this mean?eyeDENTITyabba: u have to guessJackHoLe 1580: awwwwwJackHoLe 1580: thats too many letterseyeDENTITyabba: IeyeDENTITyabba: careeyeDENTITyabba: now finish iteyeDENTITyabba: thats the first two.eyeDENTITyabba: F . Y. A . LJackHoLe 1580: For You A Lot ???eyeDENTITyabba: hahaeyeDENTITyabba: there u goJackHoLe 1580: YESS!!! right onJackHoLe 1580: :-DeyeDENTITyabba: hahahahaeyeDENTITyabba: seeeeyeDENTITyabba: now that wasnt so hard was iteyeDENTITyabba: hahahaJackHoLe 1580: okay...now i can sleep peacefullyJackHoLe 1580: hahaeyeDENTITyabba: EASY 4 u to sayeyeDENTITyabba: hahahaeyeDENTITyabba: well goodmorningeyeDENTITyabba: GO NOWJackHoLe 1580: okay
Auto response from JackHoLe 1580: SLEEPING....Zzzz..ZZzz...zZZz..zz
dreaming about my bebs.hey JEFF, guess what this means--I.C.F.Y.A.L. <-- there is an actual meaning to it. HAHAHA:-D
I want you so much,right now.:-*
JackHoLe 1580: byeJackHoLe 1580: take careJackHoLe 1580: get some sleep!
humm.... there was a point when i felt love from you.... then again there was apoint when you crushed my hopes... and brought me down... pissed me off because you never said anything... It always brought me to the point where you would make me cry... in the end you would make me laugh.... and i wouldnt be mad at you anymore...
Well yeah whatever... that was all in the past... I will never forget all ths goodtimes that we had together... the laughs that we had... the tears that were falling... the moments when it was THE BEST MOMENT!
From that first moment that you had walked into my life...
"YOU MADE AN EVERLASTING IMPRESSION ON MY MIND,BODY,SOULD AND HEART"...
from the first kiss, the first time we got caught going out, the first hater mark, TO BEING MY FIRST LOVE... JEFFREY SAM ORDILLIO. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU... and You didn't love me back. BUT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME MENTALLY... you will ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART... I THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD... AND EVEN THE BAD. They were all learning experiences. Still learning... and trying to get over it all. I just wanted to say.. that I love you. Hope that all is well...
I wonder what you did with that picture... Reflection of some of those happy moments.... yet again.. faded memories to you.
PEACE EASY...
supposibly your still there...
Friday, September 24, 2004
good days
So... like the days have been short... and the weeks has been long. But over all... it has been a great week. School Is awesome. I get to see all my CLOSE FRIENDS... and you know hang out talk all this junk... I remeber sitting outside and instead of studying.... that was our main idea... we ended up Just talking. I found that hella funny... right jello...
GOT SCARED STRAIGHT!!! MOTHER SUCKER!!! I'm so GLAD THAT IM NOT! =)... pleased!!! MOTHER SUCKER... NEVER AGAIN! SERIOUSLY!
anyways... i'm sleepy... FOOD COMA.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RANDY!!!
GOT SCARED STRAIGHT!!! MOTHER SUCKER!!! I'm so GLAD THAT IM NOT! =)... pleased!!! MOTHER SUCKER... NEVER AGAIN! SERIOUSLY!
anyways... i'm sleepy... FOOD COMA.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RANDY!!!
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
mmmmm.... hungry!!!! hahaha
FOOOD.... canabalisim... isn't the greatest! HAHAHA KARE... MMMM....
so anyways that was awhile back when i hung out wiht karen.
________________
So I'm chillin like a villan right now. Hungry... kinda... Sleepy YES. HEAD HURTING!!! BLEH. So anyways... school is a drag... in a sense I mean because my sechedual is basically 2 class each day with a BIG ASS GAP IN BETWEEN.
Yet again another day that i was late.. TRAFFIC BEING A BITCH! So anyways... I had a bad migrain attack... it was all bad. I finally had a class with someone i know. Ha! my last class is with people that i know. and well... all my other classes i met new people that all seem to be pretty cool. As far as meeting new people and adding a class I dont think that will be happening this quarter. I mean... not that i dont want to but i figured that... the classes that im taking now is pretty KICK BACK.. it seems easy but then again. yeah its only the beginning! SO any ways my last class... jay was in it and like HAHAHA.. its like going through FYC AGAIN.. FUNNY! any ways imma go now
peace then!
its early but im tired and i feel sick. so BLEH!
Monday, September 20, 2004
SCHOOL
So... i missed a day of blogging... Well right now i guess the day didn't really matter to me I mean because i cant remeber what happened. I know i had practice and then from the rest of the other day i dont know what happened.
SCHOOL IS COOL!!!
Most of the day was spent chillin...
OH yeah DID I MENTION... I WAS SUPER LATE FOR MY CLASS!!! G DANG!!!!! 30 mins... MOTHER SUCKER... THERE WAS MAD TRAFFIC!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY.. and it was 750 in the morning....
the traffic i believe died down like around 9 or something... ALL BAD! SUPER LATE.. but I mad a good impression on my teacher for talking... hahah. SCORE! anyways... HUMM...
like i said most of the day it was chill i mean 2 classes.... 2 hr break inbetween.... ESP for today.. i got out 30 mean early soo it was like... i had 3 hrs... met up with justine and karen, jd came along. L quad... saw a couple of hommies from my summer school class. and some people from middle school. got lost with a friend... helped him look for his class.. hahaha... OH SO LOST.. hahah SALL G it was great talking to you. met up with more people talked to them... WEIRD... SO MANY PEOPLE THAT I KNOW... funny seeing some people i mean the fact that we didnt go to school together... and well Now we ARE!!!!
some of my friends asked me if I missed Indy... I said no... not really... I miss the friends... but hey we all moved on from the drama stuff. YEAH... HURRAY... COLLEGE!
I MISS MY FRIENDS... I miss the summer.. and I miss jennelle bj kat and jacklyn.... SO THIS IS COLLEGE LIFE... I'm BROKE LIKE A JOKE... ALREDY! MOTHER BI!...
she can stare all she wants but "WERE GOING TO THE BOOK STORE!"hahahaha
PARKING WHAT A BITCH!
currently waiting for my laundry to finish.... OH SO SLEEPY and i FEEL GROSE.. you know like THROWING Up!!! I think its something I ate!
SCHOOL IS COOL!!!
Most of the day was spent chillin...
OH yeah DID I MENTION... I WAS SUPER LATE FOR MY CLASS!!! G DANG!!!!! 30 mins... MOTHER SUCKER... THERE WAS MAD TRAFFIC!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY.. and it was 750 in the morning....
the traffic i believe died down like around 9 or something... ALL BAD! SUPER LATE.. but I mad a good impression on my teacher for talking... hahah. SCORE! anyways... HUMM...
like i said most of the day it was chill i mean 2 classes.... 2 hr break inbetween.... ESP for today.. i got out 30 mean early soo it was like... i had 3 hrs... met up with justine and karen, jd came along. L quad... saw a couple of hommies from my summer school class. and some people from middle school. got lost with a friend... helped him look for his class.. hahaha... OH SO LOST.. hahah SALL G it was great talking to you. met up with more people talked to them... WEIRD... SO MANY PEOPLE THAT I KNOW... funny seeing some people i mean the fact that we didnt go to school together... and well Now we ARE!!!!
some of my friends asked me if I missed Indy... I said no... not really... I miss the friends... but hey we all moved on from the drama stuff. YEAH... HURRAY... COLLEGE!
I MISS MY FRIENDS... I miss the summer.. and I miss jennelle bj kat and jacklyn.... SO THIS IS COLLEGE LIFE... I'm BROKE LIKE A JOKE... ALREDY! MOTHER BI!...
she can stare all she wants but "WERE GOING TO THE BOOK STORE!"hahahaha
PARKING WHAT A BITCH!
currently waiting for my laundry to finish.... OH SO SLEEPY and i FEEL GROSE.. you know like THROWING Up!!! I think its something I ate!
Friday, September 17, 2004
what to say?
so like it was and interusting day, My cousin May came to my house chilled for a bit and we waited for christy and other hommies. because they said they were going to be late. Any whooz... practice was pretty good. We pretty much finished up the first part. there is like 4 people that still need to catch up....
Jessen buddy... i just worrie about you.
on the other hand... It was chill.. and richel may and I were trying to do coreo for the tahitian... couldnt decided on the song. We liked this one song but... we cant use it because richel and her aunt did coreo to it and shes in the halao. soo its not possible. ITs like stealing you can say.
So yeah... Humm...I'm excited and scared all at the same time. Excited because I have a whole bunch of things going for me. scared because its coming for me. There is a whole bunch of stuff that I to do, my whole perspective on life, time for reevaluating. I want to change how i am around a certain someone. Fix my bad habbits, not be stubborn, Then again everyone has their flaws... and well those are a couple. I just want to do alot fix alot espically my room... thats the first place i want to start. I still have to talk to my parents about it. Tare down a wall... paint it. and put up take down throw away things. So many EFFIN MEMORIES In my room and I want to start OVER.
THE END OF what was SOOO GREAT TO ME... meaningful, special, Filled with mistakes, confusion, stress, LOVE, HONESTY, LOYALTY, which was all ENDED IN HEART ACH!
THIS IS the begginning of it all A NEW START kind of... A NEW SOMETHING.... I DONT KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT. I'm Just waiting because well... i'm tired of hurting, tired of crying, just tired and wanting to start something new. Naw mean.
WELL YEAH... THERE IS STUFF TO SAY... BUT I CANT SAY IT...
whatelse is there to say...
I.... NM I'm not going to say anything becuase well ITs how i feel and you either know or dont know...
i saw this on something.
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Chestnut Tree (Honesty) - of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.
HONESTY IS MY MAIN FRAME... I LIE BUT I TELL THE TURTH If you ASK ME.. OR IF I WANT TO TELL YOU... IF NOT THAT I JUST WONT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
the things that are in italics are the things that I think speak true for me. YEAH... TELL ME WHAT CHU THINK?
jovver-Peace easy
jeff- Peace difficult
abegail- Peace then.
Jessen buddy... i just worrie about you.
on the other hand... It was chill.. and richel may and I were trying to do coreo for the tahitian... couldnt decided on the song. We liked this one song but... we cant use it because richel and her aunt did coreo to it and shes in the halao. soo its not possible. ITs like stealing you can say.
So yeah... Humm...I'm excited and scared all at the same time. Excited because I have a whole bunch of things going for me. scared because its coming for me. There is a whole bunch of stuff that I to do, my whole perspective on life, time for reevaluating. I want to change how i am around a certain someone. Fix my bad habbits, not be stubborn, Then again everyone has their flaws... and well those are a couple. I just want to do alot fix alot espically my room... thats the first place i want to start. I still have to talk to my parents about it. Tare down a wall... paint it. and put up take down throw away things. So many EFFIN MEMORIES In my room and I want to start OVER.
THE END OF what was SOOO GREAT TO ME... meaningful, special, Filled with mistakes, confusion, stress, LOVE, HONESTY, LOYALTY, which was all ENDED IN HEART ACH!
THIS IS the begginning of it all A NEW START kind of... A NEW SOMETHING.... I DONT KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT. I'm Just waiting because well... i'm tired of hurting, tired of crying, just tired and wanting to start something new. Naw mean.
WELL YEAH... THERE IS STUFF TO SAY... BUT I CANT SAY IT...
whatelse is there to say...
I.... NM I'm not going to say anything becuase well ITs how i feel and you either know or dont know...
i saw this on something.
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Chestnut Tree (Honesty) - of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.
HONESTY IS MY MAIN FRAME... I LIE BUT I TELL THE TURTH If you ASK ME.. OR IF I WANT TO TELL YOU... IF NOT THAT I JUST WONT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
the things that are in italics are the things that I think speak true for me. YEAH... TELL ME WHAT CHU THINK?
jovver-Peace easy
jeff- Peace difficult
abegail- Peace then.
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