I miss a whole lot of what happened in the past... but i can't turn back time and go through it again. But if i was ever able too... i would change a whole lot of things.
what has come to be...
there aren't anymore of those phone calls. nothing about,chilling our just hanging out. there aren't anymore of those reandom hellos just to see how someone is doing. there isn't so much of those deep conversations that use to happen, there isn't any more of those just kicking it at someones house just for the hell of it.. and staying at that house till early in the morning just because, and there isn't anymore of those really good hugs and kisses of hello and good byes.... and theses are some of the things that i miss the most
the way i see it now
is that there isn't any more of all that stuff... I feel as tho there isn't anything with the ohan anymore. that feeling of being pushed out of the circle. more people come in and i'm being taking out. I love my ohan there is no dbout about that, i know i will always have you guys you all, will forever be my brothers and sisters... except jeff (none of that sibling ish )"say siblings"... haha. BUT jeff you will always be my first love the "boyfriend", i will never forget you. Like i've said before you have made and everlasting impression on my mind, body, soul and heart and i will never for get that. YOU GUYS... are the greatest people i have ever met We kept it together for 4 years and still kinda going.
the truth is...
i feel like i'm not apart of that circle anymore.
these past months have been life changing
and well i've been making some great decisions. and there maybe well something that i might have to do.... is well leave. and probably not keep contact... i donno if i will actully be doing that. but, i guess there will be a whole lot less of me to be seen. I guess give me a year or something. i donno.... it still an undecided dession that i have to make.
Just know that
no matter what the decision is i make i will always love you guys
MY OHANA... my brothers and sisters and EXbOyFRIEND.
We've been through alot and i donno...
where do i really stand i all this...
my drama is my drama... not any of yours. just some things that i'm going through. don't worrie about me i'll be okay. OH THE POSSIBILITIES
a post that isn't really finished... just some thoughts that i wanted to pass along
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