Looking BACK

So... i basically stayed home the whole day... didnt really do much but dom some laundry and well like the thing is... the only thing that I could do was basically go on the internet and well... check out the sites and see wahts was going on... and well I was totally remanicing about things in the past because I go through reading everyones xanga... leaving my daily comments and what not. I decided to take it back. So well thats what I did. I sat down look at my old xanga entrys and well... there were things that i found OH SO FREAKIN TENDER... and i was just thinking about how much i missed those moments, How fun they were... and where were at right now is totally different. I'm not just speaking of just JEFF... but all of my friends. My how the tides have turned and things are very very different. Thinking about all those good Times and how things were. I admit that there were times that I was being hella selfish and wanted everything to be around me and about me. I admit to being stubborn and all this other junk. Hey at least I admited to it. I sure went through alot... and look where it got me. Going back.. well brought some emotions, feelings, and what not back.... I guess this is just somemore stuff that i needed to say because I call it a quits.... before Its over... over officially. Well for me... here are some things that brought it back....


I found it soo ironic how you took this quote from a book and posted it...
"HESITATION ONLY MAGNIFIES FEAR AND MAKES IT WORSE!!"
Knowing you... well towards me... You were always hesitant.... and well... the quote only speaks for its self.... it magnifies your fears and It only made the situation between us... WORSE!

JackHoLe 1580: BE DECISIVE & TAKE ACTION PROMPTLY. ACTION CURES FEAR! HESITATION ONLY ENLARGES FEAR!


its really funny how things work out... Pretty much thinking about it all.. and HOW YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME. and how you cared for me... how we would talk about the weirdest things online.

eyeDENTITyabba: so i gues good morningJackHoLe 1580: okay then.eyeDENTITyabba: sleep sweeteyeDENTITyabba: good dreams JackHoLe 1580:you too ;-)
Auto response from JackHoLe 1580: SLEEPING....Zzzz..ZZzz...zZZz..zz
dreaming about my bebs.hey JEFF, guess what this means--I.C.F.Y.A.L. <-- there is an actual meaning to it. HAHAHA:-D
I want you so much,right now.:-*
JackHoLe 1580: I want you so much,right now.:-*<--- ??eyeDENTITyabba: hahahahaeyeDENTITyabba: .......:-XJackHoLe 1580: I.C.F.Y.A.L so what's this mean?eyeDENTITyabba: u have to guessJackHoLe 1580: awwwwwJackHoLe 1580: thats too many letterseyeDENTITyabba: IeyeDENTITyabba: careeyeDENTITyabba: now finish iteyeDENTITyabba: thats the first two.eyeDENTITyabba: F . Y. A . LJackHoLe 1580: For You A Lot ???eyeDENTITyabba: hahaeyeDENTITyabba: there u goJackHoLe 1580: YESS!!! right onJackHoLe 1580: :-DeyeDENTITyabba: hahahahaeyeDENTITyabba: seeeeyeDENTITyabba: now that wasnt so hard was iteyeDENTITyabba: hahahaJackHoLe 1580: okay...now i can sleep peacefullyJackHoLe 1580: hahaeyeDENTITyabba: EASY 4 u to sayeyeDENTITyabba: hahahaeyeDENTITyabba: well goodmorningeyeDENTITyabba: GO NOWJackHoLe 1580: okay
Auto response from JackHoLe 1580: SLEEPING....Zzzz..ZZzz...zZZz..zz
dreaming about my bebs.hey JEFF, guess what this means--I.C.F.Y.A.L. <-- there is an actual meaning to it. HAHAHA:-D
I want you so much,right now.:-*
JackHoLe 1580: byeJackHoLe 1580: take careJackHoLe 1580: get some sleep!

humm.... there was a point when i felt love from you.... then again there was apoint when you crushed my hopes... and brought me down... pissed me off because you never said anything... It always brought me to the point where you would make me cry... in the end you would make me laugh.... and i wouldnt be mad at you anymore...

Well yeah whatever... that was all in the past... I will never forget all ths goodtimes that we had together... the laughs that we had... the tears that were falling... the moments when it was THE BEST MOMENT!

From that first moment that you had walked into my life...
"YOU MADE AN EVERLASTING IMPRESSION ON MY MIND,BODY,SOULD AND HEART"...
from the first kiss, the first time we got caught going out, the first hater mark, TO BEING MY FIRST LOVE... JEFFREY SAM ORDILLIO. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU... and You didn't love me back. BUT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME MENTALLY... you will ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART... I THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD... AND EVEN THE BAD. They were all learning experiences. Still learning... and trying to get over it all. I just wanted to say.. that I love you. Hope that all is well...

I wonder what you did with that picture... Reflection of some of those happy moments.... yet again.. faded memories to you.


PEACE EASY...

supposibly your still there...