When I thought that I beat the toughest thing that I could think of.... LOVE takes over and makes me feel so vulnerable and susceptible to anything and everything. I have nothing better to do when I'm home. Its just that when I am home I sit down and think. I really doesn't help the fact that my room is full of pictures and memories of everything and every person that has made and impact on my life.
I contemplate about my life and if this guy that IM dreading over is really worth it. Right now I'm so confused. I can sit there dwell on everything or move on. I'm moving on... But the thing is... Well... I fell hard for this MOTHER FAWKER... I FELL IN LOVE. " HAVE YOU EVER FELT LOVE?" Actully yes... The feeling was something that I wasn't ready for something that was totally unexpected but it was there. I find if funny how he said he didn't want things to change that he didn't want to lose my friendship with him. But it seems as though... hes the one that is pushing me away. I'm just a thing. A shadow... a dark figure in the background. Like I don't mean a DAMN THING TO YOU. I really think that its sad, you could have at least gave me one more chance...
I have some questions for you...
- what would have happened if the accident that happened... really did happen? that special present really did happen and i was?
- would you give me a second chance?
- Do I still have that special place in your heart?
I donno It was just a thought. Being that well, sometimes you can be a bitch around me and give me attitude. I hate it because its like well the side of you i never got from you. since out "break up" ITS BEEN LIKE THAT. We said no awkward feelings... SOMETHING IN THE AIR IS MAKING IT AWKWARD. Maybe you do still care... maybecause your pushin me away... maybe because i;m pushing you away... maybe because; there can be alot of reasons to it.
praying for the day that you coem back into my life....
I WANT YOU IN MY LIFE. I LOVE YOU. =(
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