i take back everything

I take back everything that i ha ve recently just said to you...

i take back all the nice things i ever said to you.

all i'm really able to say is sorry for being a bitch. but thats it.

after its all over i'm done. I'm guessing its over over because i can't bare to see you or be near you. It hurts to damn much.

i hope that you have a happy life with out me in it. I think me... for you I'm just a problem, or a person you know that you dont give a fuck a bout because when i do talk to you. you dont seem to interusted. you dont seem like you care when you said " i still care for you"

fuck... HYPOCRITE!!!!

tell me to get my proirities straight.... you tell me what ur stressing about and then you dont handle it. no offence.... but you'd rather go to _-_ _ _ _ _ _ instead of being there for me. Nio dbout i thank you for going... un like some... but... it still hurts the fact theres that.
ESP that its the week of.
My thought is...
IS IT REALLY MANDITORY??? i mean you have hella more practices till battlefest.... my cotillion is this weekend. I let it slide the last couple of times because well... my cotillion wasnt last week or the week before. what i'm saying that i'm tired of letting things slide i'm tired of being too... FUCKING NICE for my own good. I did to much to accomidate to everyones sechedual.... (i know i'm being selfish)... ITS MY TURN... ITS TIME FOR ME... don't complain to me. I asked you to do me this favor... i asked you... it didnt mean that you didnt have to say yes.(reffering to everyone) DON'T complain... and dont tell me.... anything because you agreeded.. and if you couldnt do it... well thats all you had to say. I AM AN UNDERSTANDING PERSON... I LET A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS SLIDE... but its this weekend... this weekend is what im impling... IF YOUR JUST DONT THIS TO PISS ME OFF THEN WELL YOU'VE DONE IT. IF YOUR MAD AT ME.. then thats fine.... LETS JUST GET THIS THING OVER WITH AND WE'LL BE DONE WITH IT. WE DON'T HAVE TO SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.... (still reffering to everyone)



with out adbout... you all are GREAT... hands down i wouldn't change any of you guys... I wouldn't do a lot of things..... but this time... i donno... we'll see...



ERRRRGGHHHH...

enough with all the bull crap

unable to lift what has been damaged...

i picked up all the pices... but still haven't tried to put them back together. I mean slowly but surely i think it will come together. but I'm not so sure about that. Its hard as it is...


so... humm...

my feelings right now: i feel very stressed out. I've thrown down the safe gaurd and i'm putting on my boxing gloves. ITs time for the bitch in me to come out... and well... it has yet to begin. WATCH YOURSELF. This is going to be a a big on..... and i might have to put myself on blast. megaphone. NO NEED.

anyways... I might be on the verge of a total break down with being so overwhelmed with everything. I wish there was that shoulder that i could cry on. That someone who i can tell everything to and not have to worrie about whats going to happen. I wish i had that again. I feel so helpless.

It doesnt help at the fact that I think he hates me.



DAMN FUCK... SHIT!!!! ERRRRRR....... YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY! I HATE YOU... I HATE THIS.. I HATE...

WHY AM I STILL HERE.... WHY?
WHY DO I STILL CARE?
am i still heart broken?
am I jealious?

is it that....

FUCK YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND OH YEAH YOU!!!!

I HATE YOU!

about 3 or soo weeks left then this madness will be fuckin over and you'll never have to see me ever again.

I just want to break down and cry with you holding me in your arms...

DAMN... those times... damn those memories... DAMN IT!

"6,8,12"Ooh, oohDo you ever think about me?Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?In the middle of the night when you're awake,Are you calling out for me?Do you ever reminisce?I can't believe I'm acting like thisI know it's crazyHow I still can feel your kiss[1] - It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours Since you went away I miss you so much and I don't know what to sayI should be over youI should know better but it's just not the case It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours Since you went away Do you ever ask about me?Do your friends still tell you what to do?Every time the phone rings,Do you wish it was me calling you?Do you still feel the same?Or has time put out the flame?I miss you Is everything okay?[Repeat 1]It's hard enough just passing the timeWhen I can't seem to get you off my mindAnd where is the good in goodbye?Tell me why, tell me why[Repeat 1]Sing it for meOoh, ooh

All i wanted was to work things out but you never gave it a chance.

BLAH...

I MISS YOU!!!!..... and still love you

ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT

You know what.... I'm just not going to fucking care anymore.

Say thank you to fucking everyone else except for me....

Its my bad for being SOOOO FUCKING UNDERSTANDING RIGHT!

Well you know what FUCK YOU!!!

its breaks my heart... no thank you for fucking anything that i do or did for you.

If you were still a true friend, you would have my back, you would ask me whats wrong, you could say thank you, you would/ could/ should have said and done a whole lot of things

but you didn't

SO ARE U STILL MY FRIEND. OR YOU JUST THERE?
















why do i still care for you when you dont give a FUCK ABOUT ME?