how do you tell someone....?

How do you comfort someone when you know that the out come will be bad?

How do you tell someone every thing's going to be alright when you know that its not?

What would you tell your friend, if they told you that their moms super sick with lunge cancer, to the point that she's going to pass away and they only have 2 choices to
1) Just end it now
2) Do the Tracheotomy: a tube that is surgically implanted into the neck so that you can breath easy. So that she may live up to 2 years longer but be bed ridden, unable to talk, and suffer through treatments and the pain.
and asked you what would you do if you you were in my situation?

I don't know what I would do, I didn't know how to break it down to my friend. I need some help.

any advise?

Update

I realized i've done wrong. but I leave myself with no room for regret. Theres no point in me hating myself for the things that i've done, because being angry on makes you tired. And I need all the energy I can get to grow and learn from my mistakes.
dont you just hate it when things come in waves, one right after the other pounding on you, no room that you can't even lift you head up to breath?
you think to yourself "why didn't i just go to a lake or a pool its a lot more calm."
as quickly as you ask yourself that question you give yourself an answer. "I came out here for a challange, to experiecne something new." And this is what it is for me. 2007 started off great, but ended with a whole bunch of waves coming at me tossing me everywhich way, even giving me a leg cramp. no matter how many waves bring me down i still keep swimming upward... all the way to the top to catch a breath.

2008 is a bit on the rocky side... but i'm sure i can pull through.


Monday, December 31, 2007

Subject:no to resolutions this year
why do i say no? its because every year i say that I'm going to do something but never follow threw with it for the rest of the year. so this year I'm not going to make one. This year is going to be different from the rest because well its just going to be. Time for readjustments and some changes. In serious need of some love, laughs, arguments, tears, happiness, this will probably be brought to my by those who i love/dislike n haven't seen in a while. So I'm ready for you new year.Good bye 2007 you made me laugh, you made me cry, you took some people from me, you gave me new interest, you gave me my first accident, and its the first time i lost my phone, you brought old friends back into my life and i've also made new ones. So thank you 2007 for the good times and the sad times.

---------------------------

one way to end a year on the16th of december 2 weeks b4 da year ends get into a car accident 17-24 december spend all ur work money on gifts 4 other ppl 24th, hang out w/ hommies go home da morning of da 25th get ready 4 church with family hav lunch n go 2 hommies house n chill 26-28 work ur ass off, n dat thursday n firday get faded Thursday make sure u drink but not to much that u can't go to work the next day, go from a club to a bar, follow people who don't kno where their going. walk past da garage only 2 go back 2 it, get 2 da bar n wait outside becaouse of cops, eventually get in, see ppl u know n almost get into a fight w/ sum drunk ass beeziee.Make sure dat Friday u get soo faded dat u drunk text ppl, use da bathroom bout 6 times, lose ur phone n nothin else, throw up right next 2 da bar, supposidly on sum1 shoe, go 2 dennys w/ da girls u went clubbin w/ n throw up in da bathroom sittin on da floor. talking 2 1 of ur best girls bout problems. den eventually hav ur bf come n pick u up w/ 1 of ur best guy friends take u home but b4 we exit 2 home pound on da window tellin em 2 pull over n throw up on the side of da road. after dat get into ur house run 2 da bathroom throw up sumore rip off da cloths u we wearin put on ur pjs and pass out. 29th wake up hung over dat u can't go 2 work so u call in n 4 da rest of da day u sleep 30 chill with the bf and some friends... get a phone call from one ur best girlfriends to go out to reggae nights... go to Family's house n get ready go to reggae night n have a blast 31 do as much as u can n get ur phone back online. now all u need is ppls numbers, go to OSH pick up some stuff den go to Walgreen n head to the bfs house. chill for a min shoot back to ur house make sushi n clean da house and find urself updatin about da new years.
10:19 PM

Sunday, December 23, 2007

sybject: done with
i'm freakin done.
... I'm sorry that u're the one walking in and out of my life.
hommies for life but nothing more...
I thank you for all the good times. and i'm sorry that i've ever made the effort.
4:01 AM

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

subject: 12-16-07

I will never know who you are,

but I will always love you
12-16-07
12:51 AM

Monday, December 17, 2007
subject: contemplating
choices need to be made,
life style changes, need to be handled
the who, what, where, when, why, and how questions need to be answered.
is its really love? is it just false assumptions? the want and need to be with someone special?love is a crazy thing.
decisionsclarification..... new chapter of my life needs to be updated and changed....

but as for now i shall do what i have to do to get by and... when something new happens. i will deffinatly let you know.
10:53 PM

current facts about ME

WITH 2007 COMING TO AN END
1. Have you had any relationships this year?
yes, still in one and made many friendships
2. Have you had your birthday yet?
yes, just passed
3. Cried yet?
sadly yess
4. Been on a diet?
bloop
5. Pulled an all nighter?
YessURR
6. Drank Starbucks?
tried to stay away but I couldn't help but have some
7. Went Camping?
planned too.. but never did =(
8. Bought something(s)?
yep... why wouldn't i?
9. Met someone special?
yep, THEIR FUCCIn AWESOME
10. Been out of state?
Yep, VEGAS 2x before i even turned 21
12. What are you thinking about?
what to do about FRIDAY... and my TEST... ITS NIKOLES BIRTHDAY
___________________________________________________________
1.) Hugged someone?
WHEN DO I NOT
2.) Slept in someone else's bed?
yep
3.) Got a job?
currently employeed at NIKE
4.) Loaned out money?
loan, but I don't expect nething back netime soon
5.) Gotten in a car accident?
yeah it was my first...SIGH
6.) Gone over your mobile phone bill?
nope
7.) Been called a #####?
not like the person ment it but YES
8.) Done something you regret?
nothing that i know of.

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
01. Have you ever been in love?
YES....
02. Do you believe in love?
yes
03. Why did your LAST relationship fail?
.... I STILL DONT KNOW.... whatevs
04. Have you ever been heartbroken?
don't gotta ask me twice
06. Have you ever fallen for your best friend?
hahaha.... YEP...
07. Have you ever loved someone but never told them?
yep
08. Are you afraid of commitment?
when i get to that point i'll let you know
10. Have you had more than 5 different serious relationships in your life?
naw...2, currently in one
___________________________________________________________
FOUR EMOTIONS
01. Are you missing someone right now?
i'm always missing someone
02. Are you happy?
as of right 12:52am nov 15th,2007, NO I AM NOT
03. Are you eating anything?
nope
04. Do you like someone right now?
yep

IN TODAYS NEWS

This morning I turned on my TV to watch the news and see whats going on with traffic and the weather.

Top story of the morning...

More beaches closed,
dirty birds
reported as oil spill in bay spreads

"Most of the oil from the largest spill in San Francisco Bay in more than a decade appears to have gone outside of the Golden Gate, officials said today, but the Coast Guard is still assessing the extent of damage to beaches and wildlife and officials said oil sheens remain visible inside the bay.

During the morning, more reports of birds coated with oil were coming in, including one found at Crissy Field, a few at Fort Baker, and some at Ocean Beach. But wildlife officials have not found any oiled snowy plovers, which are on the federal endangered species list. Contaminated birds are being taken to the University of California-Davis to be cleaned with a special solution. O'Neill said he is particularly concerned about the restored marsh at Crissy Field, and officials have deployed a second oil boom has been deployed to protect it. So far, O'Neill said he can see some oil sheen in the marsh waters.

"We're hoping for the best," he said.

At Rodeo Beach in the Marin County Headlands, 10 contaminated birds were found, seven of which were still alive. The birds are being taken to the International Bird Rescue Reseearch Center in Cordelia, where the birds are washed with a grease-cutting detergent.

The cleanup effort at Rodeo Beach began around noon, where a half-dozen workers wearing protective clothing and gloves shoveled up globs from the oil spill as school groups on nature tours looked on. A part of the beach tideline is marked by black, gooey oil, and workers are trying to finish the cleanup before the tides move back in.

The cleanup is being conducted by contractors hired by the company which owns the vessel that caused the spill, but Coast Guard and state officials are monitoring the cleanup procedures. The company has deployed 10 oil skimmers, boats that skim water and take out oil. Three are working outside the Golden Gate.

"So far, they are doing a very good job," Uberti said.

Late this morning, the coast guard was surveying the waters to see if the oil has dispersed outside the Golden Gate or if it remains in a large conglomeration, Uberti said. Officials also want to see if tides might possibly bring oil back into the Bay.

As the oil spill moved through the Golden Gate, it reached from Alcatraz to Angel Island to the San Francisco and Marin shores, forcing the closure of several beaches.

Terry Picon, walking her black standard poodle JB, at Crissy Field on Thursday.

"I was just out there yesterday, looking at the sea lions and saying what a beautiful place," Terry Picon said Thursday morning while walking her black standard poodle JB at Crissy Field,one of their regular hants. "Then I heard on the news about the oil spill. It's awful. You don't expect it to happen in your own back yard. Sure sounds like somebody was asleep at the wheel."

Representatives from federal, state and local agencies huddled at Fort Mason this morning to decide how to handle cleanup. The agencies ordered several beaches closed because of health concerns. The closures included Baker Beach, China Beach, Crissy Field and Fort Point in San Francisco and Black Sands Beach, Kirby Cove and Rodeo Beach on the Marin County side of the Bay.

The spill reached isolated Alcatraz a few hours after the crash.

The 900-foot-long container ship, navigating through heavy fog about 8:30 a.m. Wednesday, struck the bumpers protecting the base of the second suspension tower west of Yerba Buena Island. The impact cut a gash estimated to be about 80-feet long and 20-feet wide toward the front of the ship's left side. The impact punctured a fuel tank, allowing fuel oil to leak into the Bay. Wednesday, U.S. Coast Guard crews worked to surround the spill with floating boom, removing at least 8,000 gallons with skimmer ships and absorbent pads, said spokesman U.S. Coast Guard Petty Officer 3rd Class Michael Anderson.

For years biologists have been concerned that a significant oil spill inside San Francisco Bay could cause major environmental damage. The reason? The Bay has only one narrow opening at the Golden Gate, and the right combination of currents could push oil south, coating sensitive San Mateo, Alameda and Santa Clara County marshes, which are home to fish, birds and harbor seals.

Wednesday, signs were posted warning the public not to swim or fish in several areas, and a hot line was set up to take reports of fouled wildlife.

Anderson said the agency came up with the preliminary estimates by taking water samples from the Bay and comparing the liquid load on the vessel before and after the crash. "It's a fairly complicated process," he said.

The last spill of this magnitude happened in 1996, when the Cape Mohican, a military reserve vessel, spilled 40,000 gallons of fuel oil into San Francisco Bay near Pier 70.

Prior to that, an explosion on another ship, the Puerto Rican, spilled 1.5 million gallons of oil in the open ocean off the Golden Gate in 1984.

By comparison, the Exxon Valdez spill was 11 million gallons.

The collision had no effect on the bridge or anyone driving across it, and Caltrans engineers who examined the structure determined that the vessel did not make contact with the actual concrete abutment, said Caltrans Bay Bridge spokesman Bart Ney.

But the impact damaged the vessel, owned by South Korean Hanjin Shipping. It was carrying containers for the China Ocean Shipping Co.

Once the ship's crew and the Coast Guard had transferred fuel from the breached tank and contained the spill with absorbent foam barriers, it was moved across the Bay to Anchorage Nine, offshore from the former naval station in Alameda.

The Coast Guard prohibited boats from getting within 100 yards of the ship or 50 yards on either side of the slick, Neff said.

The San Francisco public health department issued a statement noting that oil vapors had sickened people onshore, causing headaches and nausea, but said the fumes posed no long-term health effects. Ney said the damage to the bridge could be fixed without too much trouble, but would probably require an emergency contract."- San Jose Mercury News

its quite sad.... I feel for the animals. I mean it just brings me to the point with the whole depleting ozone, Mother Nature is in Full effect (ie: extreme winds spreading fires, Earthquakes, hurricane Katrina) Freaking GAS PRICES ARE TO THE EXTREME.


my thoughts wrapped into one question...
"WHATS GOING ON WITH THIS WORLD?"



till laters.... thats my 2 cents
-abby

Kudos like the snack

I gave myself a Kudos because I'm extra happy. Things are pulling together and I'm really looking to the brighter side of things. It has been a hard first couple months of school, from a close friend passing, to the first day of school, to my dad getting sick, then my uncle passing, to midterms, to my 21st. It's been friggin NUTTS! No other words can express how that feeling is. Any hows.

The reason I gave my self Kudos is for the fact that I'm getting my head straight toughening up, growing some balls and not letting anything pull me down. I applied at Nike in valley fair, they called me 2 days later telling me i got an interview. I wasn't sure that I did all that great in my interview, the lady said that she was going to let us know if we got the job or not on WED which is today. I wasn't expecting to get a call untill 5pm but she called at 245 asking if i was still interesting and I said yes. she told me what I had to do and well HERE I AM. all SMILES and contemplating my schedule for saturday(10th). ITS GONNA BE ONE CRAZY DAY! anyways I'm sooo excited can't wait for the season to begin.

It maybe parttime seasonal but HEY. a job is a JOB. if they like me and decide to keep me, and I like where i am with school. then I think i'll keep it. =D.... one step closer to getting what i need to get done.


1 more year is about to be over in this chapter of my life, and another year is about to be OPEN. can't it be anymore exciting then this. =D

100 Car accident on Cali Highway

In Yesterdays News.... Nov 3rd 2007
At least 100 cars, including nine big rigs were involved in a pileup on Highway 99 just south of Fresno killing two people and injuring dozens more. Dense fog is believed to be the cause, though authorities are still investigating.

Its like a Story straight out of twilight zone. Its pretty crazy ain't it. Never would have thought something like would happen. But looks like it can and it will. Be careful out there guys! just be a little more away of whats going on around you. like my driving instructor told me "look a head, plan ahead."

need i say MORE???

YOU CAN COME OUT AND PLAY TOO...



BIRTHDAY, WEEK , MONTH...


if you Beezees haven't noticed its' gonna be one crazzy MONTH!!! SOOOO MANY BIRTHDAYS SOO MUCH TO CELEBRATE. OH WHAT A MONTH NOVEMBER IS.

THIS I PROCLAIM TO YOU, TO COME OUT WHEN YOU CAN BECAUSE EVERY DAY IS GONNA BE A SPECIAL DAY!

NOV.
(SAT 10)
- DARRLY DEL ROSARIO TURNS 21.
-Giving Thanks a week EARLY w/ da WEEKENDERS
(SUN. 11)
-Jason Lee turns 21
- BBox Entertainment presents Mecca (vallejo city)
- DINNER @ CAMPBELL SANOMACHICKENCOOP 7pm. RSVP. MESSAGES ME BACK, BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU WANT TOO!!!

(MON. 12) Its MY 21st BIRTHDAY
ITS Veterens Day NO SCHOOL
-PHILLIP DE CASTRO turns 22
-Josephine Mendoza Turns 18
-Rhea Belonia turns 21
I'm NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THIS BDAY
probably recovering this day...
(TUES. 13)
- SCHOOL... n NOTHING GOING ON
- $2 tuesdays neone want to come out???
(WED 14)
- Jezel TURNS 21 whoot whoot

(THURS 15)
-Nikole Del Rosario 22
-NIKS house?
- TASTE
(FRI 16)
-Jaysons Birthday 26
- KOJI SAKE LOUNGE FOR PREFADE (all you 21and uppers are INVITED Let me know if your comming along???) VOODOO RIGHT AFTER THE PREFADE TO DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY!

(SAT 17)
- NIKS PARTY!!!!
- JAYSONS BAR HOPPIN!!!

(SUN.18)
-JOEY PARDO Turns 23




ITS GONNA BE AN EVENTFUL WEEKEND SO YOU BETTER COME OUT AND CELEBRATE WITH ME!!!! YOU KNOW I HAVEN't SEE YA'll IN MONTHS OR EVEN YEARS!!!!

HOLLA AT ME IF YOU WANT TO COME OUT NE OF THESE DAYS!

Dont call me an alcoholic because i'm not one HAHAHA!
WIT LOTTS A<3
ABBY

I blogged it I messaged it I posted it as a bulletin WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT???

ITS BEEN YEARS

I can't believe I'm using this thing again! its been years since I last used this! Anyways I guess I'm back and here to stay.

something old and yet its still something new.
TAGALOG:
"ikaw lang ang mahal at lagi kong dasal
Sana`y di magbago ang damdamin mo
at ang iniisip mo lang at ako
Huwag mong sasabihin
mayroon ka ng ibang giliw
baka hindi makaya kung mawawala ka
Dahil puso ko`y nasanay na
[Palaging ikaw ang nais makita
Ganyan lagi ang aking nadarama
At bakit ikaw ang siyang minahal
at aking inibig na tunay
Huwag mo lamang sanang sasabihin
iiwanan ako at may ipapalit na sa akin]
Kasi Ikwa lang ang mi na mahal"

ENGLISH: "You're the only one I love and I always pray for.
I Hope you don't changed your feelings,
and I hope your thinking of me.
Don't say you have a new love,
because I can't handle to lose you,
for my heart is use to having you
[I always want to see you, that is how I am feeling
Why did I love you and Love you TRULY?
Don't say that you'll leave me and have be with someone else]
Because you're the one I love"

i've been thinking of you

there has been some though in my head about certain someones. I think its just that.. i miss i love I donno... i'm sooo confused. I can't believe that I put myself in to this situation... i've done it yet again. see a person leaves and then comes back and those certain feelings i had befor for that certain someone came back... I don't think it's my fault but I've got that feeling back and I don't want to let it go even tho it gets me angry. EH... well i'll be up and out...



I hate her.... I hate him!!! when i say hate i really mean it.